The 2010 VMAs and I Think I'm Too Old to Get This Bullshit Anymore

Last night, I watched the 2010 VMAs mostly because I was having back problems and couldn't think of a better stationary activity. (I had forgotten about the Dallas/Washington Sunday Night Football game, for which I am kicking myself now.) I never go into the VMAs with particularly high expectations, as it is an opportunity for MTV to shamelessly self-promote while entertaining some amount of their tween audience, simply disguised as an awards show. Even so, I was particularly disappointed by some elements of last night's show:

1. Rihanna NOT condemning domestic violence- LIVE!
I think everyone was a little bit confused and surprised when Rihanna released a collaboration with Eminem in which he raps about physically abusing his girlfriend in a fairly neutral tone. While all women should be vehemently against any kind of domestic abuse, one would expect an active stance from Rihanna, whose household name stems largely from the fact that she had the crap beaten out of her by then-boyfriend Chris Brown before the 2009 Grammys.

While hearing her voice on the radio was somewhat confusing, seeing her standing on stage singing calmly that she "like[s] the way it hurts," was surreal. I would expect more from someone who should rightfully be a poster child for a zero tolerance policy on girlfriend battering, whether she asked for that job or not.

2. Justin Bieber's Lipsyncing
Justin Bieber is a child who first garnered a degree of fame by posting videos of himself singing on youtube. At some point, the powers that be in the music industry picked up on his star potential, and shortly thereafter Usher somehow became Justin's mentor. I'm not privy to all of the details. The point is, the kid can legitimately sing. I understand that his stage show now features young Timberlake-esque dance routines and that singing and dancing at the same time is hard. Still, it disappoints me to see Bieber being played out like some no-talent kid who was taught to dance, kind of. Let him sing.

3. The Resolution to the Taylor/Kanye Debacle
Both Taylor Swift and Kanye West gave performances addressing Kanye's extreme rudeness at last year's VMAs. While Taylor's performance rang soft and anti-climatic, Kanye's was pure self indulgence at it's finest.

Someone needs to inform Kanye that you can't make up for acting like a douche bag by being even more of a douche bag by glorifying the fact that you are, in fact, a gigantic douche bag. Let me explain.

Kanyes performance began with a not particularly impressive demonstration of his mad one-man production skills, in which he created a beat, step by step, on stage. Ok, self indulgent, but at least somewhat interesting and original. Then, he proceeded to perform a song in which he calls for a toast to the douche bags and assholes out there, clearly referring to himself. He even managed to slip in the adjective "brilliant" when referring to his ability to find fault in his life. This is a man who honestly thinks he is constantly redefining music and culture. I would be willing to argue that he's a pretty good producer and a sub-par lyricist, but I can't stand writing about this douche bag anymore.

4. Lady Gaga's... fashion?
We get it, Gaga, you're wacky. Some of the stuff you wear is cool, original, and interesting. However, after a year where pop music was almost entirely shit, you should have been prepared to take home a couple VMAs. Maybe you should have planned the trip from your seat to the stage a little bit better. Multiple outfits that require assistants in order for you to get up and walk the two rows to the stage are a little out of line. You had the right idea with the meat dress, even though it was disgusting. Also, stop crying.


5. Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj is a less talented, less original, more annoying, watered down version of little Kim. I hate her and wish she would drop off the planet. Also, when do rappers EVER lipsync? Apparently she did during the pre-show. That is beyond whack.

6. Chelesea Handler
She's so old and gross and not funny. That is all.