The internet is abuzz right now over some comments that Adam Carolla (a man I don't find to be particularly funny) made regarding women's senses of humor, and I would like to briefly respond. Basically all he said was that women don't tend to be the funniest people in the writing room. While he admitted that some very funny women exist, citing Sarah Silverman and Tina Fey, he said that if you are playing the odds, you don't pick women out as funny people.
Other comedians like Doug Stanhope went on to defend him on twitter, claiming that men develop better senses of humor because they need to be funny in order to get laid. While this is true, it's not the whole story AT ALL.
Girls are funny TO EACH OTHER. We don't have to make men laugh in order to get to touch their dicks. They don't even have to like us to let us touch their dicks. However, we do have to use humor to disarm eachother, because women in our social structure are naturally aggressive and resistant towards each other. So, while we may laugh real hard at guys' jokes, we get each other's humor more, typically. Also, any time you see a girl claiming that women aren't funny, she is doing it for bullshit guys' benefit, i.e., "Look how much of a guys' girl I am! I like strip clubs and video games and don't think women are funny." These also tend to be the girls who will blow your boyfriend for a meal or a bottle of whipped cream vodka, or for fun.
Where was I... ok, guys feel threatened by the idea of funny women, because they view their own senses of humor as this super unique development they have achieved in order to get laid. Funny women threaten that. I guess they are scared we are all just gonna scissor if we become funnier than them, idk. So ladies, next time a guy tells you women aren't funny, just touch his penis and don't engage in the argument, because what's the fuckin point?
About Me
- Julia P.
- New Orleans, La, United States
- I like to write about the things in this world that excite, anger, and inspire me.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
A Quick Note About Lady Periods
I think "gender equality" issues are really tricky because some degree of inequality and mystique is necessary in our social structure. That said, I will try to keep this brief. Sometimes things that, on the surface, seem empowering for females backfire hard, and I've got a pretty swell example for you today.
I guess it seems like it's about damn time that men knew exactly how trying and taxing and goddamned annoying our periods are, right? Particularly in the wake of all this discussion about birth control, a faction of women has emerged that feels that it is necessary to shout to the world how bloated and crampy and grouchy and miserable they are when Aunt Flo comes around.
All this does is support the ridiculous notion that women are incapable of being productive, rational members of society literally a quarter of the time. Furthermore, it makes it ok for asinine guys to say things like, "Wow! She must be on the rag!" when we get upset about legitimate things. So quit it.
That is all.
I guess it seems like it's about damn time that men knew exactly how trying and taxing and goddamned annoying our periods are, right? Particularly in the wake of all this discussion about birth control, a faction of women has emerged that feels that it is necessary to shout to the world how bloated and crampy and grouchy and miserable they are when Aunt Flo comes around.
All this does is support the ridiculous notion that women are incapable of being productive, rational members of society literally a quarter of the time. Furthermore, it makes it ok for asinine guys to say things like, "Wow! She must be on the rag!" when we get upset about legitimate things. So quit it.
That is all.
Friday, June 8, 2012
An Open Letter to People Who Tell Me I'm Not Using My Brain Enough
Dear well-intentioned person telling me I'm not using my brain enough these days:
I know. First, let me compliment you on being the 75,000th person to tell me this. You've won this blog post.
I understand that what you are trying to say is that I am smart and I could do a lot with those smarts, so one one hand, thank you. In some alternate universe, I have a few degrees and I am advising some schmoozy Democratic candidate for a state-level office while feeling bad for his wife because she doesn't know about one shady thing or another.
In this universe, I have a kid. Kids require time. Someone has to watch them and make sure they don't run into traffic or fall off of a table or drown themselves in the bath tub. Someone has to read to them and hug them and teach them how to point at their nose when you ask and sing the itsy bitsy spider 100 times a day. That person is me.
I LOVE being a mom. I don't want strangers to raise my kid. I want to be the one to kiss his boo boos and teach him the ABCs. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for working and student moms. It's not easy to balance children and other things, and I imagine it is emotionally complicated as well. All the supermoms out there deserve mad props. I am not that woman, though. The thought of trying to be a mom and work and go to school all at once gives me hives. I'm lazy.
This brings me to the "go back to school" crowd. Let me assure you that aside from in my family's presence, a classroom is the first place I want to be. I miss school. DESPERATELY at times. I plan to go back to school. My husband and I have discussed it. It is not going to pay for itself. When we figure out how to finance and schedule it, it will happen. Let's leave it at that.
While I understand that it is in a complimentary spirit that you are telling me these things, you are not telling me anything I don't already know. There is something profoundly frustrating about being told things you know by numerous people. It starts to make you feel like your flaws are more pronounced than they are. It makes you question things. I don't want to question things.
I have heard that happiness is less an emotion than an absence of other emotions. That if you can comment on how happy you are, you probably aren't all that happy, because true happiness is something you don't have to reflect on. Most days I don't have to reflect. I simply enjoy the day-to-day and laugh at little things like babies dancing and pugface. Would I change some things, looking back? Sure. But I am relatively content, and I'm optimistic about getting my brain back in the game at some point in the future. For now, my kid is my number one priority by a mile or two. So for now, chill out.
Deal? Deal.
Love, Julia
I know. First, let me compliment you on being the 75,000th person to tell me this. You've won this blog post.
I understand that what you are trying to say is that I am smart and I could do a lot with those smarts, so one one hand, thank you. In some alternate universe, I have a few degrees and I am advising some schmoozy Democratic candidate for a state-level office while feeling bad for his wife because she doesn't know about one shady thing or another.
In this universe, I have a kid. Kids require time. Someone has to watch them and make sure they don't run into traffic or fall off of a table or drown themselves in the bath tub. Someone has to read to them and hug them and teach them how to point at their nose when you ask and sing the itsy bitsy spider 100 times a day. That person is me.
I LOVE being a mom. I don't want strangers to raise my kid. I want to be the one to kiss his boo boos and teach him the ABCs. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for working and student moms. It's not easy to balance children and other things, and I imagine it is emotionally complicated as well. All the supermoms out there deserve mad props. I am not that woman, though. The thought of trying to be a mom and work and go to school all at once gives me hives. I'm lazy.
This brings me to the "go back to school" crowd. Let me assure you that aside from in my family's presence, a classroom is the first place I want to be. I miss school. DESPERATELY at times. I plan to go back to school. My husband and I have discussed it. It is not going to pay for itself. When we figure out how to finance and schedule it, it will happen. Let's leave it at that.
While I understand that it is in a complimentary spirit that you are telling me these things, you are not telling me anything I don't already know. There is something profoundly frustrating about being told things you know by numerous people. It starts to make you feel like your flaws are more pronounced than they are. It makes you question things. I don't want to question things.
I have heard that happiness is less an emotion than an absence of other emotions. That if you can comment on how happy you are, you probably aren't all that happy, because true happiness is something you don't have to reflect on. Most days I don't have to reflect. I simply enjoy the day-to-day and laugh at little things like babies dancing and pugface. Would I change some things, looking back? Sure. But I am relatively content, and I'm optimistic about getting my brain back in the game at some point in the future. For now, my kid is my number one priority by a mile or two. So for now, chill out.
Deal? Deal.
Love, Julia
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
A Letter to the Adult Version of My One Year Old Son
Dear Charles,
As I write this, you are 17 months old, you have 12 teeth, and you are covered in bruises because you refuse to accept your physical limitations. I think you will have grown up to be a brave man, and that makes me glad.
I believe that some degree of bravery is necessary in any life. Everyone has to face challenges throughout his life that are much more easily overcome with a bit of tenacity and the unwillingness to back down. I hope that any obstacles you have encountered so far, you have stood face to face with and stared down. I further hope that you have done so with class, respect, and a bit of panache.
Every generation worries that their children will have it harder than they did while striving to make the opposite true. My generation is just now taking the reins on many issues all over the world, and I am hopeful that we can steer this crazy planet in the right direction. I will do my best to make sure we do not fail you, but I fear there is only so much I can do.
You were born almost ten years after the largest terrorist attack in American History, an event that occurred on September 11, 2001, which is a day that changed everything and nothing at the same time. I still woke up the next day and attended tenth grade. I still rode my horses and fought with your Uncle Ben and giggled about the boys in high school. But the world had changed, and it continues to change today.
I am thinking about this on this particular day because today is the 68th Anniversary of D-Day. D-Day was a crucial turning point in a war that clearly pitted the forces of good and freedom against the forces of evil. It was a war that encompassed two continents and took millions of lives and broke an unfathomable number of hearts. Still, it was a war with clear moral purpose. Thus did the Greatest Generation save the Planet from Hitler and certain misery.
America is fighting a war now, too, but it is a more amorphous war than the one your great grandfathers fought. It is a war against anti-freedom ideology and theology. It has fuzzy lines and requires shaky alliances with questionable governments in the pursuit of sneaky, evil men who sometimes hide in caves. Even the smartest, bravest men and women in the world can't agree how to win this war, if it is winnable. A lot of good men have given their lives in pursuit of safety for Americans and their allies, and more will certainly do the same. We as free and good people do not have the advantage of a clearly defined enemy lining up in battlefields like those D-Day soldiers did. As I said, the world is changing.
I fear that it will continue to change and become more complicated in your lifetime. You are growing up at a time when computers are capable of serving as weapons, not in the sense of being physically harmful, but in many other senses. Information is exchanged in milliseconds these days, sometimes when the information is not meant to change hands. Hoards of money are susceptible to electronic attack. Privacy may become a thing of the past.
I have every confidence that your generation will adapt to these changes. You are growing up in a plugged-in world, and you will never remember a time when information was not immediately available and at the tip of your finger. Practically all of mankind (except North Korea, but I hope they have gotten it together by now) is only a button click away. It's remarkable. Still, I suspect it will create unique challenges, particularly as technology continues to march ever forward in the rest of your lifetime.
So be brave. I'm sure the world is more complicated than ever, but let your life be simple sometimes. Find love. Don't look forward to the next big thing without enjoying what you already have. Visit your mom a lot. More than anything, take advantage of the information and opinions that are available to you. Information is power, and power changes the world. Think critically, but speak kindly, and always, always look forward.
Best of luck.
Love,
Mommy
As I write this, you are 17 months old, you have 12 teeth, and you are covered in bruises because you refuse to accept your physical limitations. I think you will have grown up to be a brave man, and that makes me glad.
I believe that some degree of bravery is necessary in any life. Everyone has to face challenges throughout his life that are much more easily overcome with a bit of tenacity and the unwillingness to back down. I hope that any obstacles you have encountered so far, you have stood face to face with and stared down. I further hope that you have done so with class, respect, and a bit of panache.
Every generation worries that their children will have it harder than they did while striving to make the opposite true. My generation is just now taking the reins on many issues all over the world, and I am hopeful that we can steer this crazy planet in the right direction. I will do my best to make sure we do not fail you, but I fear there is only so much I can do.
You were born almost ten years after the largest terrorist attack in American History, an event that occurred on September 11, 2001, which is a day that changed everything and nothing at the same time. I still woke up the next day and attended tenth grade. I still rode my horses and fought with your Uncle Ben and giggled about the boys in high school. But the world had changed, and it continues to change today.
I am thinking about this on this particular day because today is the 68th Anniversary of D-Day. D-Day was a crucial turning point in a war that clearly pitted the forces of good and freedom against the forces of evil. It was a war that encompassed two continents and took millions of lives and broke an unfathomable number of hearts. Still, it was a war with clear moral purpose. Thus did the Greatest Generation save the Planet from Hitler and certain misery.
America is fighting a war now, too, but it is a more amorphous war than the one your great grandfathers fought. It is a war against anti-freedom ideology and theology. It has fuzzy lines and requires shaky alliances with questionable governments in the pursuit of sneaky, evil men who sometimes hide in caves. Even the smartest, bravest men and women in the world can't agree how to win this war, if it is winnable. A lot of good men have given their lives in pursuit of safety for Americans and their allies, and more will certainly do the same. We as free and good people do not have the advantage of a clearly defined enemy lining up in battlefields like those D-Day soldiers did. As I said, the world is changing.
I fear that it will continue to change and become more complicated in your lifetime. You are growing up at a time when computers are capable of serving as weapons, not in the sense of being physically harmful, but in many other senses. Information is exchanged in milliseconds these days, sometimes when the information is not meant to change hands. Hoards of money are susceptible to electronic attack. Privacy may become a thing of the past.
I have every confidence that your generation will adapt to these changes. You are growing up in a plugged-in world, and you will never remember a time when information was not immediately available and at the tip of your finger. Practically all of mankind (except North Korea, but I hope they have gotten it together by now) is only a button click away. It's remarkable. Still, I suspect it will create unique challenges, particularly as technology continues to march ever forward in the rest of your lifetime.
So be brave. I'm sure the world is more complicated than ever, but let your life be simple sometimes. Find love. Don't look forward to the next big thing without enjoying what you already have. Visit your mom a lot. More than anything, take advantage of the information and opinions that are available to you. Information is power, and power changes the world. Think critically, but speak kindly, and always, always look forward.
Best of luck.
Love,
Mommy
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