A poem about Lady Creatives

The hardest conviction to shake
That those who sin against her
Are instrumental, somehow, in unleashing
Caged and tortured Art
Trapped just beneath the surface

Perhaps that's how one ends up
Holding not one
But two men as they cry about their cheating
As if their comfort in their sins
Outweighs her pressing need
To be far, far away
And screaming

Stop Calling Women "Females," And Why.

I don't know if this is a relatively new phenomenon or if it has just recently started to bother me, but a lot of people are casually referring to women as "females" these days. The more I think about it, the more it needles me. I find it to be the kind of off-hand dehumanization in which our society trades far too easily.

We have plenty of perfectly good, uniquely human words to describe people with vaginas. Why, then, would individuals choose so often to use a term that also refers to dogs, frogs, and even trees, for goodness sake?

The only routine use of the words male/female in place of  man/woman that I can think of are in the scientific and medical fields. In these instances, isn't that terminology employed specifically to dehumanize the individual? To create a subject or a patient where before there was simply a person?

This may sound like overreaction or creating an issue out of nothing, but then I feel the need to ask, Why don't you come across instances of "males" being used in place of "men" in casual speech? I can't recall a single instance of having experienced this. The fact of the matter is that our society more flippantly dehumanizes women than men.* You rarely see fashion ads where male models are literally portraying items of furniture, for example. (This is a more common phenomenon for female models than it may sound. Look out for it.)

I also find that the use of the word "females" to refer to women is often accompanied by good old-fashioned, casual sexism and objectification. I once had a man tell me I was unusually "logical, for a female," for example. I often come across instances along the lines of, "I love a female with a big ass." This is casual sexism, and I believe it is being accompanied by pretty basic dehumanizing language.

So, men and women alike, because men are not the only culprits here by any means, please stop this. Give women and girls the respect they deserve by calling them women and girls. Your words do have power, no matter how much you may want to kick and scream and decry the PC Police, so act accordingly. Thanks.

*There are of course numerous instances of men being thoroughly dehumanized in/by American society due to racial and ethnic differences, and that is a part of the same conversation about power and discrimination, just not right this second.

Three Things I've Learned From Three Years of Marriage

Today marks the three year anniversary of the day I married my wonderful, devoted husband, Tony. I know that three years doesn't exactly make me a marriage expert and that we have a long road ahead of us, but at this point, I feel that I have properly adjusted my mindset to the married life enough to shed some insight on what changes when one takes the plunge. Here are the three biggest, most important things I have learned over the past three beautiful years:

1. You can't keep score.

Balance and fairness are important elements of any successful relationship. If one person is carrying too much of the burden, whether emotional, financial, domestic, etc, resentments can arise. As in any situation where two people live together, there is a lot of responsibility to divvy up in a marriage. A couple owes it to themselves not to allow the stresses of this balance to lower them to a point where they are writing passive aggressive notes to their spouses like some college roommates on a Buzzfeed list.

My husband works three jobs (a 9-5, a high-demand part-time, and an occasional bar job), while I work freelance/part-time/sometimes. I stay home and bear the brunt of the childcare burden, as well as most of the domestic responsibilities. Sometimes I hate doing the dishes (and often Tony volunteers to do them because he's the best), but it wouldn't be fair for me to ask him to do the dishes as often as I do the dishes, just as it wouldn't be reasonable for him to ask me to work the hours he works. It would be nonsensical for me to try to figure out how many loads of laundry equals one drive across the Causeway to tutor a GMAT student. As long as each half of the couple is contributing in earnest and appreciating the contributions of the other, scorekeeping is unnecessary. With all eyes towards a happy, well-provided-for (financially and otherwise) household, balance can be achieved.

2. Unlearn the phrase, "If this doesn't work out..."

We all want to be The Notebook minus Alzheimer's. If you don't want to be The Notebook minus Alzheimer's when you get old, I don't know why you would get married to begin with. To me, marriage means forever, no takesy backsies. That said, we're basically all children of divorce, and we're all well aware that not all (or even most) marriages will be successful. Even so, it is the responsibility of a married person to love and invest in their relationship as if it will never end. Spending time worrying about what happens next if things go south inherently takes away from a marriage. If you don't give all of yourself emotionally and mentally to your relationship, and it goes bad, whose fault might that be?

3. You cannot overestimate your capacity to love.

The first time I fell in love, I had never experienced a feeling so intense before. The day I got married, I didn't think I could possibly love that man any more. The first time I held my child, my heart nearly burst with a kind of love I didn't even know existed (a cliche, but for a reason). The point is, any time you think you have reached love capacity in your life, you are probably wrong. The love I have for my husband grows deeper and more complex as we age and carve out our happy little part of the world together. I don't know how much deeper it goes, but I'm not willing to put an imaginary cap on it, because I believe that love is infinite and evolving, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

Women Have Nipples that have Shapes. Why Do We Hide Them?

I don't know when exactly we all started being required to have perfectly round Barbie tits, but I know it has not always been this way. There was a time when women wore bras that did not 100% disguise the fact that they had nipples, and it was not a noteworthy occurrence. I remember my mother, when I was growing up, had a slew of bras that were just underwire and thin, cotton fabric cups.

If I wore a bra like that, my nips would be on display. I'm not talking about being able to see the full outline and certainly not the color, just the fact that they existed and were raised from the breast. All of my bras are significantly padded, and it still doesn't always 100% do the trick.

Certain celebrities are notorious for having this "problem". Jennfier Aniston, for example, often has a little nippage on display. Still, when she does, people point it out. Like it's news that this woman has nipples. When Anne Hathaway let hers fly at the Oscars this year, it was a story. This is just so asinine to me.

I believe that you have to be the change you want to see in the world, so I will no longer be supporting this notion that the vague shape of nipples is somehow trashy or obscene. These are parts of the female body that are not only beautiful and unique from person to person, but hugely important in the function of motherhood and even sensuality. No more 2" padded bras that completely change the shape of my breasts. No more taping them down in dresses that cannot be worn with a bra.

I'm done. Who's coming with me?

Reasons I Love Bravo's Princesses: Long Island

Princesses: Long Island is Bravo's train wreck about late-20s Jewish girls who live with their parents on Long Island. I began watching because a friend has connections to one of the characters and has all the inside scoop, but I quickly found other reasons to delight in this disaster, as well.

Photo: Bravo

The show follows Chanel Omari, who is a good Jewish girl who observes the traditional Sabbath and is searching for a husband, and her friends: Casey, the artsy "city girl"; Amanda, the annoying-voiced dingbat who is way too proud of her doofy boyfriend; Ashlee the 4'9", 30 year old daddy's girl; Erica the drunk boyfriend thief, and Joey, who is just kind of Joey and seems ok so far. Two episodes have aired so far, and here is why you should watch:

1. The "Previously On".
This show has the best previously on segment I've ever seen. They show clips from previous episodes, obviously, and one character narrates the past action. The twist that for some reason delights me to no end is that the narrator says lines from past episodes and they sync the video and audio, so you have one person doing everyone's voices and editorializing with their tone of voice. I wish the whole show was just a previously on.

2. People in their late 20's acting like high school kids
This is obviously unattractive in real life, but it's hilarious to me on TV. These girls almost all live with their parents and hang out with the same group of girl friends they have been hanging out with since they were teenagers. As a result, they haven't matured past that part of their life in many ways. Episode two was centered around drama between Casey and Erica because Erica stole Casey's boyfriend in high school. While Casey certainly has a right to resent that occurrence, it seems to me that there should be a statute of limitations on showing up to a party at which you know Erica will be present, giving her the cold shoulder, and then telling her to shut up because everything coming out of her mouth is stupid bullshit in the middle of Shabbat dinner. That about covers how marvelous that whole situation is.

3. The over-inflated egos
The girls on this show spend a lot of time talking about how on LONG ISLAND your value is determined by the car you drive and the clothes you wear, etc. On LONG ISLAND, the "it girls" all have the nicest, newest stuff. (A lot of it is animal print and very, very tight). Anyway, these girls all have the nice things, and they have spent a lot of time with their parents blowing loving, fragranced smoke up their asses, and it may have made some of them a little delusional. None of them are overly attractive or interesting, but they think they are, and that somehow makes them interesting.

4. The desperate man search, and its results
A large part of this show is focused on the single girls talking about how important it is to find a husband ASAP. They are 27-29 years old and they can simply feel their ovaries shriveling right up inside of them.  The girls who have found boyfriends (notably the endlessly irritating Amanda) are 1) way to quick to insist that he is "the one" and 2) Blissfully unaware of how goony and unattractive their men are. It's just bad, y'all.
Amanda's boyfriend=This Guy

So, in conclusion, you should all watch this show, but do not judge the Jewish or Long Island communities at large from it. In fact, don't judge any community at large based on reality TV shows, even West Virginians via Buck Wild.

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 30 (Thursday, 5/23)

I can't believe it's the last day of the challenge! I have enjoyed myself, and I hope the few of you who followed along the whole, tedious time did, too! I honestly found myself reaching for skills that I had not used in a long time for a lot of these drawings, and I'm glad I made myself do it. I have also reawakened the daily desire to make art that is a gluttonous thing; the more you feed it, the hungrier it gets. So, today is the last assignment. I think I might take a few days with it, and I am going to try to combine a literal and a metaphorical interpretation.

30. A self portrait

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you
25. Something dead
26. Something alive
27. A landscape
28. Something you owned in the past

29. Something you hope to own (Or have or see) in the future

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 29 (Wednesday, 5/22)

This is a partner to yesterday's challenge, and a nice way to almost wrap this thing up:

29. Something you hope to own (or have or experience) in the future

When Tony and I got married, we did it in the courthouse and never had a big wedding. We still want to have a ceremony at some point, and I really really want to wear a wedding dress. Plus I wanted to do one little fashion drawing before this thing ends :)

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you
25. Something dead
26. Something alive
27. A landscape
28. Something you owned in the past

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 28 (Tuesday 2/21)

28. Something you owned in the past

My son actually has one of these now, but my siblings and I had one throughout our whole childhood. It probably still lives in the basement at the house I grew up in in Woodbine. Pencil and sharpie. 

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you
25. Something dead
26. Something alive
27. A landscape

30 Drawing Chllenge: Day 27 (Monday, 5/20)

I can't believe the drawing challenge will end this week! It feels like it has been way more than a month. Well, it has, with the skipped weekends... but I digress. I feel as if I have been reaching for some skills I haven't used in a while, so this has been useful. The first challenge of the final week is:

27. A landscape

I mad this on a really fantastic ipad app called Procreate while following along (not very faithfully) to the Best of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, which is a hobby of mine. This was the first time I thought to reconfigure the scatter on the airbrush tool to make leaves! woohoo! 

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you
25. Something dead
26. Something alive

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 26 (Friday, 5/17)

As a counter to yesterday's melancholy,

26. Something alive

One of the blossoms from our magnolia tree? sidewalk chalk. 

Previous Challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you
25. Something dead

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 25 (Thursday, 5/16)

I don't have a good lead-in for this, except that you can get kind of creative with it depending on how you take it...
25. Something dead

A dead and shriveled gardenia blossom from my backyard. graphite.

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another
24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 24 (Wednesday, 5/15)

One more perspective exercise, and one that drives me crazy:

24. A room, where a corner is directly in front of you.

Previous Challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views
23. An object that you always see from one view, from another

As I mentioned above, I hate this perspective. I never liked one point, and I don't remember how to do it correctly. So I just picked up a sharpie, threw a little New Orleans wonk in it, and called it a day. 

\

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 23 (Tuesday, 5/14)

Today's challenge could be very similar to yesterday's, in a way, but if you find an object that fits the challenge really well, I think it could be fun.

23. An object that you ALWAYS see from only one angle, from another

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character
22. One object from three different views

This perspective is a little strange because you can see the real life table and no surface is drawn in, I am just now realizing, but this is a picture frame that sits on my mantel, from the back. Pencil and sharpie. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 22 (Monday, 5/13)

I skipped another Friday. I'm sorry; I am a horrible drawing challenge leader. Anyway, today and for the next few days are some perspective-type exercises.

22. One object from 3 different views

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object
21. A TV character

Three relatively sloppy pen studies of a banana. This banana is slightly more ripe than I can handle. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 21 (Thursday, 5/9)

I planned this one with something specific thing in mind, but now I don't know if I'm up for it. Either way, we are stuck with it because to change challenges on a whim would just be to draw what I feel like drawing, which is not the purpose of this exercise. So,

21. A TV character

Previous Challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow
20. A transparent object

Jesse Pinkman. Graphite... BITCH!

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 20 (Wednesday, 5/8)

Today is another continuation of the fundamental-type stuff we have been doing the past two days. This is something I personally really enjoyed when I was first learning to draw. It's also something I haven't really done in a long time!

20. A transparent object

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare
19. An object with a strong shadow

This guy is a little drunk and wonky! conte on construction paper. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 19 (Tuesday, 5/7)

Today is a continuation of the theme we started yesterday, and may be similar depending on how you interpreted that challenge, due to the nature of light.

19. An object that casts a strong shadow (and its shadow, obviously)

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say
18. An object with a strong glare

The only thing at all interesting about this image is that I created it on a Buddha Board, which is a very cool board on which you paint with water. Your strokes start black and fade gradually, so you have to plan ahead to create different grades of gray. The philosophy behind a Buddha Board is that it is meditative to create evolving and temporary creative works. It's a product I love. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 18 (Monday, 5/6)

Hello everyone. You may have noticed that I skipped a day on Friday. I had friends form home in town from Maryland, and thus afforded myself a three-day weekend. Sorry I didn't give you a heads up. Anyway, today and for the next few days I planned some fundamental-building type exercises that might be fun and might not depending on what kind of person you are.

18. An object with a strong glare

Previous challenges:

1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country
17. The first word you learned to say

This is an item that should be familiar to anyone who spent a lot of time with me in my early 20s: A straight razor that was intended for cutting hair but that I began bringing with me everywhere as an all purpose tool/ protection. This is graphite, a little bit rough, but I am happy with it for the time I had to do it. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 17 (Thursday 5/2)

Here's one to force you to talk to your parents:

17. The first word you learned to say


1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday
16. A symbol of your country

"kitty"

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 16 (Wednesday 5/1)

16. A Symbol of your country, which in many ways is related to yesterday's challenge, a symbol of your favorite holiday. Often, the ways in which we celebrate holidays reflect the culture of our nations.

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body
14. a Leaf
15. A symbol of your favorite holiday

An American Bald Eagle. Black and white conte, yellow glitter crayon, pencil on construction paper. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 15 (Tuesday, 4/30)

This one could go a million different directions, and I'm not at all sure what I'm going to do yet, but...

15. An element of your favorite holiday

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your house
6. Something from your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. You favorite feature on your body
13. Your favorite feature on another's body
14. A leaf

I love Halloween. I love dressing up, carving pumpkins, and candy/ baked goods. I also love the time of year when the Nightmare Before Christmas starts coming on TV, as it is probably my favorite movie of all time. I drew Jack Skellington's ghost dog, Zero. This is white chalk pencil, black conte, and red crayon on black construction paper. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 14 (Monday, 4/29)

Ok folks, I skipped Sunday (and still haven't posted my drawing from Saturday! oops.) and think I am going to skip weekends entirely from now on, because I have had serious trouble keeping it together. Starting today, we are moving on from the human body stuff and into something that I find to be very closely related: nature.

14. A leaf

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your house
6. Something that reminds you of your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12.your favorite feature (your body)
13. Your favorite feature (someone else's body)

As I sort of mentioned above, I find the connections between the human body and other things in nature to be endlessly fascinating. For that reason, I used my own hand print to make the veins in my leaf.

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 13 (Saturday, 4/27)

Today's assignment is an extension of yesterday's

13. Your favorite feature on someone else's body

Previous Challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your house
6. Something that reminds you of your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth
12. Your favorite feature on your own body

My munchkin's piggies.

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 12 (Friday, 4/26)

We are approaching the end of the body parts segment of this challenge, but I think this day poses a couple of interesting questions. First, what do you love about yourself, physically (and why)? And secondly, how do you get a look at it to draw it? ;)

12. Your favorite feature on your body

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your house
6. Something that reminds you of your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out of your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand
11. A mouth

I love the dimples in my lower back <3 graphite="" p="">

Some Insight Into My Vonnegut Thing on a Night When I Miss Him

I have one tattoo on my body, and it's a tattoo I got impulsively out of grief that is not necessarily justifiable. This tattoo is located on my upper right rib cage and it says So It Goes.

There are a lot of authors to whom I have emotional attachments, but in most instances those attachments extend to their work and not far beyond. J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey may have literally saved my life on a couple occasions. I understand that that sounds like an extremely dramatic statement, but it might seriously be true. That said, I had mixed feelings about Mr. Salinger as a human, and when he died, my biggest question was whether or not they would find unpublished manuscripts I could enjoy. (Selfish, buddy, so goddam selfish.)

Recently, I was sad when Ray Bradbury died, Tearful when Maurice Sendak died, I have many living authors with whom I would love to correspond forever. But Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is the one I can't get over, and I feel like I owe myself and everyone else an explanation.

First of all, his fiction.
       The man wrote novels that were interwoven with one another without being necessary to one another's survival. This requires both foresight and careful respect for one's own work, both of which are admirable qualities. He also wrote a character who was representative of himself without being masturbatory, which is practically unheard of. He also managed to make everything about respect for human life and intellect without making those qualities so pure that they became mythological. He was also alternately funny as fuck and tender as can be. His short fiction is probably some of the most underrated in the American universe. He wrote what he knew and extrapolated it to otherworldly environments, and he was good as shit at it, which is why terms from bokonism became part of his everyday expression of himself.


Secondly his non-fiction:
     If you take the time to read essays and opinions that Vonnegut published from the beginning of his career until basically his death, you will find one underlying theme: the value of human life and the dignity that all people deserve. This should not be a surprise, seeing as it is basically the point of all of his fiction, as well. However, seeing it out in stark terms from his own heart and in his own, unfiltered voice, makes it more real. If you have not, everyone in the universe should read the letter he wrote to a member of a school board who decided to burn "vulgar" books: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/03/i-am-very-real.html. Everyone should also check out the collection Wampeters, Foma, and Granfalloons.
This was a strong, principled man with a sharp mind that was backed by a compassionate heart. Too often we forgive nastiness or cheapness from people who are perceived as intelligent.

Thirdly, his life:
     We so often think of successful thinkers and artists as tortured people and fuck ups and individuals deserving of leniency when it comes to judgment because of their artistic contributions. Vonnegut needed no leniency nor would he have asked for any. He raised his own children as well as several of his sisters to be successful, honest adults and never even spoke badly about military careers despite his experiences with Dresden.

All of this combined, plus the times when I chose to lean on Vonnegut's humanism and kindness as opposed to nastiness and anger that so many other authors and artists offered, left me feeling like Kurt was a grandfather figure, an American humanist who we could not afford to lose. When he died in 2007 I was really, truly upset. Five years later, in April of 2012, I still felt like I was mourning. Every time I read something of his or even something that REMINDED me of him, I would feel an honest hole in myself. I felt like I needed to pay tribute to my man, declare myself one of his people, and remind myself of what he would say about his own, or any, death: So it goes.

I know this might not seem rational, but it honestly made me feel better, and I still think of my boy Kurt as a family member, and no one can change that.
It is never a mistake to say goodbye.

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 11 (Thursday, 4/25)

We are still continuing the body part series, and today is another one that is generally considered problematic or difficult, especially when teeth get involved!

11. A mouth

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your house
6. Something for your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view from your favorite window
9. An eye
10. A hand

I did three graphite studies from three Victoria's Secret models. This is by far my biggest weakness when it comes to drawing faces. I have a tendency to draw what I know instead of what I see. It's a big problem when it comes to mouths because they tend to be much less symmetrical than your head wants them to be.

addendum: The reason mouths are so hard is because we all have this disgusting thing going on inside of our heads. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 10 (Wednesday, 4/24)

We are 1/3 done!! And to celebrate, day 10 is one that a lot of people hate:

10. A hand

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something you remember from your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out your favorite window
9. An eye

These are both my left hand. I wanted to do one hard and high-tension and one soft and relaxed. I wish the picture quality was a little bit better, but life goes on!

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 9 (Tuesday, 4/23)

Day 9 is the beginning of a short series of anatomy/body part tasks that I am kind of excited about. Going to try to put more time into these.

9. An eye

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something from your childhood
7. Something in your kitchen
8. The view out your favorite window

An eye. graphite.

30 Day Challenge: Day 8 (Monday 4/22)

8. The view from your favorite window

Previous Challenges:
1.Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home
6. Something that reminds you of childhood
7. Something in your kitchen

The window to my back yard. It is my favorite because I can keep an eye on my kid playing out there while I get work done. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 7 (Sunday 4/21)

7. Something in your kitchen

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favortie room in your house
6. Something that reminds you of your childhood

Remember this guy?

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 6 (Saturday 4/20)

6. Something you remember from your childhood

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item
5. Your favorite room in your home

The Assateague Lighthouse. My family used to vacation in Chincoteague/Assateague pretty much every summer when I was a kid, and I still love the islands today. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 5 (Friday 4/19)

5. Your favorite room in your home

We are 1/6th done! Thanks to ppl who have been instagramming and twittering and facebooking along. Are we having fun yet!?

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal
4. A food item

My living room. After some drinks.

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 4 (Thursday 4/18)

4. A food item

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love
3. An animal

A heart-shaped pretzel in a fancy frame, mechanical pencil

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 3 (Wednesday 4/17)

Today's challenge is:

3. An animal

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed
2. Someone you love

Don't forget, you can interpret these challenges as literally as you want, so feel free to go crazy and get creative!

I had very little time for this one, so I did a quick conte crayon drawing of a thestral, which is an animal that only exists in the Harry Potter universe, so it is therefore awesome. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 2 (Tuesday 4/16)

Ok, I know a few people played yesterday, but none of you shared!! tsk, tsk. Today's challenge is...

2. Someone you love

Previous challenges:
1. Your bed

I drew my pug blanket using crayola glitter crayons. 

30 Day Drawing Challenge: Day 1 (Monday 4/15)

Hello!
This is the beginning of a thirty day drawing challenge that will involve one wide-open "assignment" per day and allow participants to interpret the tasks however they want. The original purpose of this challenge was to force myself to draw/sketch/paint/whatever a little bit every day, and I figured there might be other people who would like to play along. I have intentionally kept assignments extremely vague so that they can take a few minutes or hours, be interpreted literally or abstractly, etc. I will share each day's blog post (like this one) on facebook and twitter, and I encourage you, if you want to play, to share your results and @ or tag me. When I complete each day's challenge, I will post my drawing at the bottom of the corresponding assignment blog post (like this one) and on social media. I hope some of you will enjoy this, as well! Without further ado, the Day one assignment is...

1) Your bed

I did a 15 minute conte crayon sketch, with my 2 yr old drawing in bed next to me as the subject. He also contributed some scribbles while I was on the phone. 

A short story about Lisbon I guess

The turn from Hobblers ct onto Quiet rd is tight. Our parents have been telling us since the first time we begged for the keys. That's where Jimmy died, they say. He was my age. He died around prom. That's the only thing anyone remembers about him. That's where RJ died, too. He tried to run from the cops. A three sport star. That's what happens when we put that kind of pressure on kids, grownups said. He smoked a lot of pot, we said, Both were true, and why shouldn't they be? But that turn, that fucking turn, and now that we're grown ups living somewhere with a grid system in a city where nothing ever happens and trying to go above thirty will put a real fucking problem in your suspension, a city where you keep screaming but every scream just mixes in with so many Woooos.  We crave turns like this. We go home and we get hammered and we crank up the Hold Steady and we take that turn at sixty and we don't care and we want to die, kind of, because what's the point anymore, and why are we any better than a 17 year old who could play three sports-- THREE god damn it and I can barely approach life, and the tires scream and the cows stand there and they just blink on the corner, because they have seen it. They have seen the blood and the screaming moms and they have seen the asshole boys trying to impress a girl and they have seen people like me, and their long, long, brown eyelashes just say, what's next? And why?

Take Them Into The Woods: On Boy Scouts and Atheism

    I am pleased that the Boy Scouts are reconsidering their stance on banning gay members, as it is 2013, and that is a horrible policy. Gay children should learn how to make fires and play in the woods and perform good deeds in their communities just as much as straight kids do. That's all there is to it, in my eyes.

     In the wake of this development, I now see people speaking out against the Boy Scouts' policy banning atheist members. It is a similar kind of discrimination, so I understand the connection. Children who are raised atheist have about as much choice in the matter as children who are born gay.

     To me, though, the atheist ban makes perhaps even less sense than the ban on gays. You are not going to change a gay child by teaching him in the Boy Scouts, nor should you be trying to. I don't particularly agree with trying to indoctrinate or change atheist children, either. However, as someone who believes in essentially nothing outside of what I can observe, I can assure you that the best chance you have of convincing someone like me that God might exist, is to take them into nature and let them look around a little.

Now who might be up to that task?

Here's How You End the Debate About Whether Employers' Healthcare Should Cover Birth Control

Facts:

1. The reason most often cited by employers regarding the pay gap between men and women is that women take more sick days, which, on average, is marginally true.

2. The reason most often cited by women when they take sick days is menstrual symptoms.

3. The most common treatment for women with severe menstrual symptoms is hormonal birth control i.e. the pill, nuvaring, etc.


Any questions?